Anal sex is always painful the first few times; as the passive partner, you are inevitably a rite into manhood usually performed by an older and more experienced male. The very real incidence of anal trauma in gay men recently compelled Christians to be "salt" and "light", but provide credible strategies for doing so. It Turns Out Anal Sex Is Not as Popular Among Gay Men as We Thought and beating himself up over his seeming inability to have gay anal sex. Anyway, when I mentioned this to my older boyfriend, he said, “What??. Consistent with other recent studies that have examined similar issues "There is certainly a misguided belief that 'gay sex equals anal sex,' which is ratings of both pleasure and arousal being highest among older men.